SHARING BREAD
15“If your brother sins against you, go and show him
his fault, just between the two of you.
If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two
others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two
or three witnesses.’ 17 If
he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to
listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
Matt
18:15-17 (NIV)
Wouldn’t it be far more civil and compassionate – not to
mention more merciful, loving and obedient – if offended by a brother or sister
in Christ, believers would heed our Lord’s instructions presented in our verses
for today? Instead, when offence occurs,
we oftentimes unforgivingly run straight to everyone else - spouting forth the wrong
doing - in lieu of lovingly going first to the offender. We are particularly prone to head for people
we know will be readily sympathetic to our cases – building an alliance to
defame and shame those who hurt us. Wounds
of malice and anger that are allowed to fester and bleed internally are the most
dangerous kinds. They produce lives of
bitterness. No doubt, not willing to forgive
and seeking revenge brings us much harm.
Paul tells us in Romans:
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do
what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live
at peace with everyone. 19 Do
not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is
written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if
he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap
burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with
good. Romans 12:17-21 (NIV)
Jesus gives us good reason for forgiveness in the Sermon on
the Mount earlier in Matthew. We have
been freely forgiven and - as our Lord demonstrated by His example - we, too,
are to freely forgive:
14 For if you forgive men when they sin against
you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins,
your Father will not forgive your sins. Matt 6:14-15 (NIV)
“Forgiveness
saves us the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” Hannah
More
Jesus’
Words today include any disagreement or any quarrel among Christians. It is important to preserve Christ’s church
with purity, peace and order. The world
is to know us by the love we have for one another. John records Jesus’ Words in his Gospel:
34 “A
new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love
one another. 35 By
this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one
another.” John
13:34-35 (NIV)
As
believers we are to look at each offense through merciful eyes knowing that we
often offend as well. Yet, it is not
loving, kind or helpful to others or ourselves to continue to simply gloss over
matters of offence – perhaps pretending they
never happened - particularly if it is an ongoing pattern in another believer’s
life. Does it help someone to allow them
to continue in an unkind or impudent manner?
We are not to wait for them to come to us rather we are to prayerfully go
to them, seeking to settle matters quickly.
Sins are prone to silence the conscience of those indulging in them and
oftentimes help is needed to arouse it. Proverbs
tells us:
6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy
multiplies kisses. Prov 27:6 (NIV)
The approach should always be from a sinner to a sinner. The rebuke must also be loving, prayerful and
private – “just
between the two of you.” No human
is perfect. All believers in Jesus are
in progress (or they would be home with Him) and, as Scripture states, mercy
triumphs over judgment. We must in faithfulness,
meekness and love present the offence privately. The offended should not be seeking shame for their
brother or sister rather repentance. Repentance
is always the goal and every for the good of the offender. God does not like His children wallowing in
the pig pen. This also, is Christ’s
order of things for His Body, the Church. James tells us:
12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by
the law that gives freedom, 13 because
judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy
triumphs over judgment! James 2:12-13
(NIV)
Jesus goes deeper. If
the practice continues two or three others are to be taken along in an effort
to reason the case further with the offender ever seeking his good. God’s work is to be done effectively with as
little noise as possible. The testimony
of two or three witnesses was set forth in Scripture in the Old Testament:
15 One witness is not enough to convict a man accused of
any crime or offense he may have committed. A matter must be established by the testimony
of two or three witnesses. Deut 19:15
(NIV)
Lastly, if the brother or sister staunchly refuses to turn
the church is to examine the matter to see if the complaint is frivolous or
without basis. If it is just, they are
called to rebuke the offender in an effort to lead them to repentance. If that fails the offender is not to be
looked upon as a demon but as one who is in a position to be received and
restored. Remember, our Model left the
ninety-nine sheep and went looking for the one who needed restoration.
What I glean from this:
· It is merciful
to lovingly approach a believer in private when they have offended me.
· I have
been freely forgiven and I am to freely forgive.
· My motive
for approaching someone who has offended me is to seek their good.
